Hello, darling welcome back to the blog! It’s a quiet Saturday afternoon, the kind where the sun peeks through the curtains just enough to cast a soft glow across the room. I’m sat by my window, tea in hand (yes, of course—I’m very much the British girl stereotype), gazing out at the grey skies that somehow make everything feel just a bit cosier. I’ve been reflecting on something that’s been in my heart for quite some time: vanity and modesty. It’s funny how, in this age of social media, it feels like everyone is putting their best face forward—showing off their flawless skin, curated wardrobes, and picture-perfect lives. Don’t get me wrong; I love a good fashion post as much as the next person. But over time, I’ve started to ask myself, Is this the kind of beauty I should be aspiring to?
For years, I struggled with the idea that my worth and beauty were tied to my appearance. I’d scroll through Instagram, wishing I could look as flawless as those influencers, or have the confidence to rock the latest trends. In my younger years, I used to feel like I was constantly “chasing” beauty, whether that meant a new skincare routine, a wardrobe update, or trying to achieve that “effortlessly chic” look. But as I’ve grown, both in age and in my faith, I’ve started to realise that beauty isn’t something to strive for or be measured by external standards. True beauty isn’t about the latest look or the opinions of others, it’s about cherishing who you are, flaws and all, and living with purpose. And if I’m being totally honest, it’s taken me a lot of soul-searching to come to terms with that.
In this blog post, I want to take you through my personal reflection on beauty and purpose and how I’ve learned to appreciate the delicate balance between vanity and modesty. Spoiler alert: it hasn’t always been easy, and I don’t have all the answers (I’m still figuring it out, to be honest!). But through prayer, self-reflection, and learning from women around me, I’ve come to see that there’s so much more to beauty than just what’s on the surface. So go ahead, grab a cup of your favourite brew (maybe even a cheeky biscuit if you’re feeling extra), and let’s chat about how I’ve learned to approach beauty in a way that feels true to who I am, and how you can, too.
The Temptation of Vanity
In my own journey, I’ve had my share of struggles with vanity. Growing up, I never really thought much about what was at the core of my sense of self-worth. Like many, I just followed along with what society told me was beautiful. It was all about the external—the clothes, the makeup, the hair, and the way I presented myself to the world. But as I grew in my faith, I began to realise that this pursuit of outer beauty could be a trap.
Vanity, when left unchecked, can easily take over our hearts. It can become a distraction from what truly matters: our relationship with God, our character, and the love we have for others. God’s Word warns against placing too much importance on physical appearance or outward adornment. In 1 Peter 3:3-4, it says, “Your beauty should not come from outwards, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” This was a game-changer for me.
Vanity in the Digital Age
Today, we live in a world where everything is on display. Social media constantly bombards us with the “ideal” body type, the perfect makeup, the latest fashion trends, and the supposed path to true beauty. I’ve seen so many women, myself included at times, trapped in this cycle of comparison. It’s easy to believe that if we don’t measure up to these standards, we are somehow lacking.
But as I’ve come to realise, the true essence of beauty isn’t found in the number of likes or followers we have, or in how perfectly we look in photos. True beauty is a reflection of what’s inside, our hearts, our souls, and the light of Christ that shines through us. The more I’ve grown in my walk with the Lord, the more I’ve learned to appreciate my worth beyond what I can see in the mirror.
Overcoming Vanity
It’s not always easy to break free from the grip of vanity, especially when society reinforces it at every turn. But I’ve learned that through prayer, reflection, and seeking God’s Word, we can begin to change our perspective. For me, this meant confronting the things that were fueling my desire for external validation. It meant learning to love myself as I am, and accepting that I don’t need to prove my worth through my looks.
One of the most powerful ways I moved past vanity was by adopting modesty. Modesty isn’t about hiding who you are or shying away from beauty; it’s about understanding that our worth is not tied to how others perceive us. True modesty comes from a place of humility, knowing that our identity is found in Christ, not in the clothes we wear or the way we present ourselves to others.
As I grew in my faith, I began to realise that modesty is not just about physical appearance, but about reflecting God’s beauty in a way that points others to Him. It’s about choosing to prioritise what truly matters, our inner beauty, our values, and our relationship with God, over what’s fleeting and temporary.
Redefining Beauty in Christ
As I continue to walk this journey, I’ve come to appreciate the concept of beauty as God defines it: “Fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). The more I focus on developing a heart that seeks God, the more I realise that the beauty that truly matters is the beauty of the spirit. It’s about being kind, compassionate, and loving, all while reflecting God’s love in everything we do.
In many ways, adopting updated modesty isn’t about rejecting the desire to look nice or take care of ourselves. It’s about shifting our focus from outward perfection to inward improvement. It’s about learning to honour God with our bodies, our actions, and our hearts. We can still dress in a way that makes us feel confident and beautiful, but we do so with the understanding that our true beauty comes from who we are in Christ.
The Balance
So, how do we balance the desire for beauty with the pursuit of modesty in a world that often values vanity above all else? I believe it’s all about intention. When we seek beauty in a way that honours God, we’re able to see it through a lens that focuses on our identity in Christ, rather than on worldly standards.
Modesty doesn’t mean that we have to abandon our love for fashion or self-care. It simply means that we learn to prioritise our relationship with Jesus above all else. We focus on developing a heart that is gentle, humble, and full of love for others. When we do this, we allow the light of Christ to shine brighter than any makeup or outfit ever could.
As women of faith, it’s important to remember that our value doesn’t come from how we look on the outside. True beauty is found in our relationship with God, in our hearts, and in how we serve others. Vanity can be a slippery slope, but by focusing on our inner beauty and modesty, we can live in a way that glorifies God and reflects His love for the world.
I encourage you, dear reader, to reflect on your journey with vanity, beauty, and modesty. Let’s choose to be women who shine from the inside out, honouring God with every part of who we are.
If I’m honest, this isn’t a subject I have completely figured out. Some days, I’m content with my “no-makeup” look, strolling around in a flowy dress, feeling comfortable and at peace. Other days, I catch myself scrolling through Instagram and thinking, Maybe I should try that contouring trick or I’d love that perfect wardrobe like hers. But here’s the thing: I’m learning to let go of the pressure to meet some external expectations of beauty. I’m learning that true beauty is not something I can “achieve”—it’s something I already have because it comes from who I am, not what I look like.
My journey has been about embracing modesty, not in the sense of hiding myself away or shrinking to fit someone else’s idea of what is “appropriate,” but in the sense of honouring my body as a temple and reflecting my inner values through the way I present myself to the world. It’s a delicate balance, one that’s hard to get right every time, but it’s a journey worth taking. When we stop trying to measure ourselves by the world’s standards and start finding beauty in our purpose and in the unique ways God made us, we can be more confident, more authentic, and more fulfilled.
So, the next time you catch yourself wondering whether you’re measuring up to some beauty standard, remember this: your worth is not dependent on the clothes you wear, the makeup you put on, or how many likes your selfie gets. Your beauty is in your purpose, in the way you live your life with intention, in your heart, in your kindness, and in the way you make others feel.
I’m over here, still working on finding that perfect “modest” outfit for Sunday service (because I just love playing around with my wardrobe). But as I do, I’m finding that beauty is about so much more than what I see in the mirror. It’s in how I love others, how I nurture relationships, and how I live out my faith.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for letting me share this personal reflection. We are all in this together, navigating this complicated world of beauty, self-image, and faith. Keep striving to be your most authentic self—don’t let trends define you, and remember that you are already beautifully made. Stay confident, stay grounded, and never forget that your worth is so much deeper than what’s on the outside.
Until next time, darling. Take care of yourself, inside and out.
Sending blessings to you!
Scherise. X
