Becoming a mother is the most life changing journey I’ve ever been on, and as my daughter recently turned three, I’ve had time to reflect on all the life-altering lessons I’ve learned. Motherhood has reshaped me from the inside out, challenging everything I thought I knew about myself, my relationships, and my boundaries. Today, I want to share some of these lessons that have not only pushed me to grow but have completely changed the way I live my life.
Setting Boundaries, Even with Family
One of the hardest lessons was learning to set boundaries with family. I needed space to figure out my own parenting style without feeling scrutinized or judged. Families love and concern were always well-intentioned, but sometimes it felt like my way of doing things wasn’t understood. Setting boundaries didn’t mean shutting people out, but it helped me make space to become the mother I wanted to be without the weight of others’ expectations.
Rethinking Friendships
Friendships shifted dramatically, too. I discovered that not all friendships translate well into the world of parenthood. I needed friends who could understand the demands of motherhood, the late nights, and the constant need for flexibility. Some friends fell away naturally, not because of any bad blood, but simply because our paths changed. Others became even closer, offering support, understanding, and a listening ear without judgment. I’ve come to realise that friendships aren’t always meant for every season, and that’s okay. It’s about cherishing the ones who stay and moving forward without guilt.
Letting Go of Perfection
I used to think there was a “right way” to do things, especially when it came to parenting. Whether it was reaching developmental milestones or setting up routines, I felt pressure to get it all right. But I’ve learned that every child is unique, and comparison is the thief of joy. Focusing on my daughter’s own rhythm has brought us both so much peace. She’s not here to fit a mold, and neither am I. Letting go of those societal standards has allowed me to focus on what works best for her and our family.
Self-Reinvention
Motherhood demanded reinvention, a complete change of who I am and who I want to be. I’ve had to balance my roles as a mother, partner, and individual. Learning to preserve a sense of self in the midst of all these new roles has been vital. It’s easy to feel consumed by the role of “mum,” but I remind myself that my individuality doesn’t disappear just because I’ve become a parent. In fact, nurturing that individuality has made me a better mum and a happier person.
Giving Myself Permission to Prioritise My Peace
The gift of motherhood has taught me the importance of inner peace. Setting boundaries and saying no even when it feels uncomfortable has been crucial. There’s an overwhelming pressure to meet everyone’s expectations and keep up with every well-meaning piece of advice. But one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that my peace is priceless. When I’m calm and grounded, I can be fully present and bring my best self to my daughter.
The Power of Flexibility
Motherhood is unpredictable. No two days are alike, and just when I think I’ve found a rhythm, it changes. Accepting and adapting to this constant flux has been one of the biggest tests of patience I’ve ever faced. This year, I’ve learned to hold plans loosely, be MORE flexibile, and trust that everything doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Every challenging moment, every sleepless night, and every unexpected change has been a lesson.
Motherhood in a Nutshell
If I could sum up the last two years, it’s been about discovering a new normal. I’ve learned that with each new stage, both my daughter and I are constantly evolving. It’s taught me to let go of what doesn’t serve us and to hold on to the things that bring joy and connection. I’m still learning, growing, and figuring things out as I go, and I’m sure there will be many more lessons ahead. But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that I wouldn’t trade this journey for anything.
Motherhood has been the hardest yet most fulfilling chapter of my life. It has pushed me to grow in ways I never anticipated, and I’m grateful for every lesson, even the difficult ones. So here’s to more learning, more growing, and more joy.
Sending blessings your way!
Scherise. X
