Hello, darling welcome back to the blog! I’m sitting here in my cosy living room, sunlight streaming through the window (though it’s a bit cloudy, typical British weather), and I’ve been reflecting on something quite personal. You know, life has a funny way of bringing up old memories, doesn’t it? Especially when you least expect it. It could be a song on the radio, a moment with family, or even a quiet afternoon like this when you’ve got time to think.

As I was sipping my tea this morning (because what’s a day without tea, right?), a thought hit me—Am I projecting my father’s wound onto God? I had to stop and pause. For years, I hadn’t even realised I was doing it.  Growing up, like many of us, I had a complicated relationship with my earthly father. He was distant, and that left me with unspoken hurts that, over time, I found myself carrying with me. Little did I know, those unhealed parts of me would begin to shape how I saw God.

I had unknowingly created a lens through which I viewed my Heavenly Father. When things went wrong, I imagined He was disappointed in me, much like I felt growing up. But God has been so gracious in showing me that these projections weren’t His heart at all. That’s why I’m sharing this with you today: because I believe God wants to show you the same thing. Our view of Him isn’t shaped by the imperfections of human relationships. And I’m here to tell you, that God’s love is so much deeper, more consistent, and freeing than we often realise. So, grab a cup of tea (or whatever drink you fancy), get comfy, and let’s talk about how to let go of those projections and rediscover God as the Father He truly is—one who is full of love, grace, and perfect understanding.

The Father Wound

A “father wound” is essentially emotional pain that stems from a father’s behaviour, neglect, or absence. This can happen when your father wasn’t there for you in the way you needed, whether physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your father was abusive or absent in the traditional sense—it could simply be that he didn’t express love in a way that you could understand, or perhaps he had his own struggles that affected your relationship.

As I’ve learned, these wounds can manifest in our lives in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. For example, if your father was distant or emotionally unavailable, you might grow up thinking that God is distant too. You might struggle with feeling like He’s truly present or that He actually cares about the details of your life.

How We Project Our Earthly Experiences on God

For many of us, our understanding of God as a Father can be filtered through the lens of our relationship with our earthly fathers. Think about it: when you think about God as Father, do you automatically feel safe, loved, and cared for? Or do you feel distant, misunderstood, or like you’re constantly working to earn His approval?

When I first started my faith journey, I had to confront the reality that I was projecting my father’s wounds onto God. I hadn’t even realised I was doing it! The way my earthly father had been distant or emotionally unavailable made me believe that God would be the same. I thought that God was more concerned about my mistakes and less about showing me unconditional love.

But let me tell you—God is not like that. He is so much more than that.

God’s Love is Unconditional

One of the hardest truths I had to accept was that God’s love for me isn’t based on how good I am, or how perfect I can be. I’d been conditioned to believe that love had to be earned, just like I had to earn the approval of my earthly father. But God’s love is radically different. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” His love for us isn’t based on our performance. It’s based on His grace.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like you need to “do more” to be loved by God, I want you to pause and reflect on this. God isn’t waiting for you to earn His love. He already loves you exactly as you are, right now.

Releasing the Past

As difficult as it can be to heal from a father wound, it is possible. And, believe me, God is in the business of healing. It might mean you need to confront painful memories or have difficult conversations. It could mean forgiving a father who was absent or abusive. But ultimately, it’s about letting go of the past and inviting God to heal those broken places in your heart.

For me, healing has been a process of realising that my past doesn’t define me and that God isn’t like the men I’ve encountered. He’s not distant or disinterested. He’s deeply invested in my life, and He wants to be a loving Father to me. He sees all the broken pieces, and He’s waiting for us to let Him put them back together.

A New Relationship with God

As I’ve worked on healing my father’s wound, I’ve noticed a shift in my relationship with God. I no longer feel like I need to prove myself. I no longer try to hide my flaws or mistakes from Him. I know that He sees me fully, and still chooses to love me. 

If you’ve found yourself struggling with viewing God as a Father because of past wounds, I want to encourage you today: He’s not like your earthly father. He is kind, patient, and full of love. His arms are open wide, waiting for you to come to Him with your hurt, your pain, and your brokenness. And He will heal you. It may take time, but He is faithful to restore what was lost.

Moving Forward

If you’re feeling a bit like I was struggling with viewing God through the lens of your father wound, know that you don’t have to stay stuck there. Begin by praying and asking God to reveal Himself to you as your loving Father. Spend time in the Word, and let the truth of who He is sink into your heart. It might be uncomfortable at first, but trust me, it’s worth it.

Remember, healing doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a journey that’s so worth taking. And God will be with you every step of the way.

I can’t even tell you how much it means to me to talk openly about this. It wasn’t an easy realisation to come to, but walking through it with you today has been a huge reminder of God’s incredible grace. It’s always a bit humbling, isn’t it? To acknowledge where we’ve been wrong in our thinking, especially when it comes to something as foundational as our relationship with God.

But do you know what I’ve learned? That the minute we take the step to turn our hearts back to Him, He’s there, right there waiting. He doesn’t hold a grudge. He doesn’t make us prove ourselves. He’s the Father who loves us in our brokenness, our mess, and our confusion. And it’s this love that heals.

I’ve spent many days walking through the process of unlearning the wrong things I thought about God. I’ve sat in silence, prayed, and let God slowly reshape my heart. And let me tell you, it’s not a quick fix. But it’s been so worth it. Every moment, every prayer, every step closer to the Father who truly loves and accepts me. It’s been such a beautiful process of restoration.

So, my darling, wherever you are on this journey, I want you to know you’re not alone. I’m right here with you, walking this path alongside you. I’m so grateful that we can have these conversations. And if this has resonated with you in any way, take a moment today to sit with God and let Him heal any broken parts of your heart.

Now, I’m off to spend some quiet time with my daughter (who, I swear, has more energy than the entire household combined), and I’ll be praying for you. Until next time, remember: you are cherished, you are loved, and you are more than enough for the Father’s heart. Stay blessed, and we’ll talk again soon.

Sending blessings to you!

Scherise. X