Hi Darling,
Welcome back to the blog. As I write this, I’m wrapped in a soft, knit jumper and I have a steaming cup of peppermint tea beside me. The soft sound of worship music fills the room with a peaceful atmosphere. It’s been one of those reflective mornings, the kind where you’re compelled to pause and process the deeper lessons God has been teaching you.
Today, I felt led to share something that I have not yet spoken about on this blog. Over the years, I’ve wrestled with seeking validation in all the wrong places, trying to fill a void that only God could truly satisfy. This blog post is important because I know so many of us struggle silently with these feelings. I pray that my story not only encourages you but also points you back to the One who defines your worth.
Growing up, I often felt unseen. Whether it was in my friendships, or early relationships, I carried this sense of not being enough. That void led me to search for validation in all the wrong places. I tried to please people, adapt to trends, and even modify who I was just to feel accepted.
Social media didn’t help. It became a ground for comparison, leaving me feeling inadequate despite the curated images and highlights I posted. Worse still, I began to rely on attention from others, specifically men, to affirm my worth. But every time the approval I sought fell short, it left me feeling even emptier. It was a vicious cycle of rejection, overcompensation, and disappointment.
When the Void Became Too Much
There came a point when everything I leaned on for validation crumbled. Relationships fell apart, the approval I chased seemed unreachable, and the weight of trying to maintain this facade left me exhausted. I remember sitting alone one evening, broken and crying out, “God, why am I not enough?”
And then, a realisation hit me like never before. I was asking the wrong question. It wasn’t about why I wasn’t enough, it was about why I wasn’t seeking my worth in the One who had already called me enough.
God’s Healing Work in Me
From that moment, I began to open my heart to God’s truth. Through scripture and prayer, I discovered that my worth wasn’t tied to how others saw me but to how God saw me. Here are the steps God used to set me free:
- Understanding My Identity in Christ
I started meditating on verses like Ephesians 1:4, which reminded me that I am chosen, loved, and called by God. He created me for a purpose, and no one else’s opinion could change that. - Breaking the Chains of People-Pleasing
People-pleasing is a trap. I had to learn to say no, set boundaries, and prioritise pleasing God over others. Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This verse became my mantra. - Releasing the Need for Male Attention
I realised that no man could fill the void in my heart. Even the most loving human relationship cannot substitute the unconditional love of God. Psalm 139:14 declares, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” That truth began to rewrite my understanding of love and self-worth. - Letting Go of Unrealistic Fantasies
For years, I clung to idealised images of success, romance, and happiness, thinking they’d complete me. God gently taught me to focus on His reality, not my fantasies. He reminded me of Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
What Freedom Feels Like
Walking in freedom doesn’t mean I never struggle with insecurity, but now I have an anchor, God’s love. The weight of performing for others is gone. I don’t need to prove myself because Jesus already did that for me on the cross.
When I feel those old temptations creeping in, I turn to God in prayer, asking Him to remind me of who I am in Him. The joy and peace I now feel are unmatched because they are rooted in His promises, not fleeting opinions.
Encouragement for You
If you find yourself seeking validation in the wrong places, let this be your reminder: the love and approval you are searching for can only be found in Christ. No person, platform, or possession can fill the God-shaped void in your heart.
Lean into Him. Allow Him to heal the broken parts of you and redefine your worth. As Romans 8:38-39 says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
You are deeply loved, chosen, and enough in God’s eyes. Don’t settle for less than what He has for you.
If this testimony spoke to you, I’d love to hear from you. Share your thoughts, experiences, or prayer requests in the comments. Let’s encourage one another to seek God’s validation and live in the freedom He offers.
As I finish typing these words, the tea in my cup has gone cold, and the morning light has shifted. Sharing this part of my journey wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. It’s a reminder to myself, and hopefully to you too, that true freedom comes when we stop seeking validation in the fleeting and root ourselves in God’s love.
If this blog post resonates with you, I encourage you to take a moment today to sit with God. Whether it’s journaling, meditating on His Word, or simply whispering a heartfelt prayer, lean into His presence. His arms are open wide, ready to remind you of just how loved and worthy you are.
Please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts or prayer requests in the comments. Let’s build each other up as we learn to cherish our identity in Christ and live in the freedom He offers.
Sending many blessings to you!
Scherise. X
