Hello darling,

Welcome back to the blog! Today I want to talk about stepping back. As a strong woman the idea of stepping back and letting my husband take the lead used to feel… well, foreign. I’ve always been the one to take charge, make the decisions, and get things done. So, when it came to marriage, the thought of “letting go” seemed a little terrifying. But here’s the thing, It’s not about silencing myself or erasing who I am. It’s about trusting God’s design for our relationship and allowing my husband to step up, even if it means giving up the illusion that I always have to have control (which, let’s be honest, can be hard).

Most of us were probably all raised by strong, mothers who taught us to stand on our own two feet. Being self-sufficient is second nature to us. But marriage? That’s a different dynamic. I quickly learned that the balance in our relationship shifts when I make the choice to trust my husband to lead, and, no, it’s not a blind surrender. It’s me taking a step back, allowing him room to step up, and trusting that God knows what He’s doing (even if I’m still figuring it out).

I’ve had some tough questions for God along the way. “Why do You call Yourself a Father? Why did Eve come after Adam, when it’s women who do the whole birthing thing?” (I mean, really — it’s a fair question, right?) But I’ve come to realise that it’s okay not to have all the answers. What I do have is faith, faith in the process, faith in God’s plan, and faith that even when I don’t fully understand, it’s okay to trust the journey.

I recently watched a sermon by Dr. Myles Munroe, “The Power of Women,” and it was like a lightbulb went off. Strength isn’t always about being the loudest person in the room or having the solution to every problem. Sometimes, true strength is in the silence, in listening, in making space for both my husband and myself to grow. And, truthfully, I’m still learning how to embrace that.

Letting my husband lead doesn’t mean I vanish. It’s not about becoming a doormat or shrinking away. It’s actually the opposite. When I take a step back, I create space for him to lead, and the result is a stronger partnership. This isn’t about one person being in charge; it’s about a balance — a dance, if you will — where we both know when to step forward, when to take a step back, and when to support each other.

The hardest part of this journey? Letting go of the belief that my way is always the best way (I know, it’s shocking, but it’s true). There have been moments when I was convinced my solution was the only one that could possibly work. But when I let my husband lead and listen to his perspective, I’ve learned that there’s sometimes a better way or, at least, a different way that works. And, honestly, sometimes things just don’t matter as much as I thought they did. It’s freeing to let go of trying to control every little detail.

Trust and respect go both ways in a marriage. For those of us who are used to being strong and independent, stepping back might feel like we’re losing our voice or getting ignored. But here’s the thing, a good marriage doesn’t erase one person’s needs in favour of the other’s. Instead, it creates space for both to thrive. When my husband checks in on me, values my input, and listens to my feelings, stepping back doesn’t make me weaker, it actually strengthens our bond.

Marriage has taught me that strength doesn’t always have to be loud. Sometimes, it’s in the quiet moments, in trusting that God’s got a bigger plan, even if I can’t see it all yet. It’s about finding peace in letting God and my husband lead when it’s right. This journey isn’t about disappearing or losing myself; it’s about using the strength that comes from trusting in God’s design for our marriage.

So, to every woman out there trust me, you don’t have to lose yourself to find strength in partnership. It’s about learning, growing, and letting God guide both of you through the highs and lows. It’s not the same for everyone, but for me, it’s a reminder that sometimes, letting go leads to greater strength.

Sending blessings your way!

Scherise. X